All I really wanted for my birthday this year was an ark, Good Luck Bear to admit he is a mockery of a Care Bear, and Ben Folds to perform his rendition of "Tiny Dancer" for me at my surprise birthday party that should be reminiscent of Kelly's surprise birthday party on that episode of Beverly Hills, you know, the one in which she ended up passing out in the bathroom after downing a package of diet pills, only minus that part, but with the same guest list and add Ben Folds and me as The Tiny Dancer and you've got my dreambirthdayparty.
Yet somehow, none of this happened. Seriously people, what gives? Was I perhaps not clear enough (although I highly doubt it...)?
*sigh*
Fine...
I guess I AM (kind of) difficult. I'm a big enough person to admit this. I can't stop it, and even if I tell you I wish I could, I'm lying.
I lie. I like to argue. I think O.J. is innocent. I will never, ever watch A Beautiful Mind, just because. I have a shoe-tying test that I administer to people with out their knowing and if you fail, you're just not worthy of my time, sorry. I have never worn gloves, wait, that's not true, I've worn surgical gloves (Shut up, like you haven't worn surgical gloves!), but I mean winter gloves. I'm a mitten girl. I ask really obvious questions, like "Are you sleeping?" when you're sleeping and "Did that hurt?" when you stab yourself in the leg with a fork after I tell you about how I don't really blame the Menendez Brothers or when I tell you I can't come out to play because Jerry Maguire is on again, and who knows, maybe this time it will end differently, maybe this time Renee Zellweger's bastard son will get eaten by a pack of wolves at the zoo, it could happens. And I expect my friends to come up with an ark and Ben Folds on my birthday (not to mention Good Luck Bear). Deal with it.
Love me; love my high level of difficulty.
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2 comments:
An ark? Really? I bet if I start working on it now, I could have it mostly ready for you next year. I will work on that, okay? Just for you though. Don't tell anyone else because I plan to only ever build one ark in my life unless rainbows quit showing up and in that case it will be for me. Is that a deal?
Goodness gracious, there I was egotistically checking out my stats counter page, and I see someone visited me from a link on your site, so I come to your site and find I LOVE YOU. Not in a creepy way, I hasten to add, but in a 'what a brilliant blog' way. So you are going in my favourites.
And, hello :]
Claire
aka Clairecav/shot-of-tea
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