I would like to have magical things. I have this pencil in my room that I use to kill spiders. I use the pointy end to jab the big spiders, and the eraser side to snuff out the little ones. I would say I've killed a few hundred of the little buggers. It would be so useful if it was like "Sting" from LOTR and it began to glow an eerie blue light when a spider was around. That would spare me the nasty shock of coming upon the spiders unexpectedly.
I also think it would be fun to have something like a magical green scarf that could fly around and get me things. I'm sick of pausing Mariokart so I can grab a soda. Go get my soda, scarf! And a sandwich! And make it snappy!
Of course, with my luck, Scarf would probably soon turn into one of the most tedious slipper-toting bores - yapping on about machines, or buying and selling things for a ludicrously small amount of profit or loss on some gay online auction, fond of Laura Ashley and round toed shoes, trying shove me into dungarees, DUNGAREES (the lesbian wardrobe staple) in some pathetically weak, Turkish bid to keep other leering scarves away. Typical Scarf behavior.
Also, some random fucktard has stolen my wallet. On my birthday. Tragic isn’t it?
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