Snugly tumkins

I get unnerved by street musicians and I hate sentence fragments.
Just so you know.


So. I have decided to obey my voices. Sort of like Obeying My Thirst, only with less thirst and more voices screaming.

"Buy Colgate Whitestrips, buy Colgate Whitestrips! So what if they cause you to digest your own stomach lining, at least you will have the whitest teeth ever and it won't matter that you put regular dish soap in the dishwasher instead of dishwasher detergent and flooded your kitchen with bubbles or that your toaster burst into flames when you were trying to make english muffin pizzas in it because the whiteness of your teeth will blind everyone to everything but your good qualities, which let's be frank, consist of your ASS, your keen fashion sense when it comes to socks, oh and your ASS."

Well, you know how it is. Hopefully the intestinal organ failure warning on the box is just a precaution and hopefully I don't end up vomiting my own blood, because that would probably stain my teeth and gee, I'd really hate to have to do it twice...