Howdey matey!

Why does this kind of thing allways happen to me....

While walking down the street this morning, I saw this old man standing by the large floor to ceiling windows of a department store (the INNO in the Veldstraat, if you must know).
Now, he was probably about 60-70 years old and at this point I could only see him from behind but from that angle he seemed to be making a hand movement that could only be one thing... This registered in my mind, but it took me a few minutes to put it together, that this guy was actually masturbating on the sidewalk. So I turned my head back around and I swear to you, there was absolutely no mistaking that he was standing there in plain view just going to town. At this point I think he saw me out of the corner of his eye because he turns around and makes this ridiculous “OH” face while he slowly covers his erm...area with his coat.

At 8 'o clock in the morning that is just not something you want to see.

So,


Dear public masturbator,

Allthough public masturbation of any sort is illegal (and disgusting), most public masturbators choose to do so the relative privacy of a public bathroom, public transportation, libraries, dressing room, etc... I'd like to recommend that to you.

I've had the unfortunate experience of overhearing guys masturbate in these 'situations', but it's not nearly as disgusting and day-ruining as seeing a man standing at in the middle of the street jerking off.--and this is just so you know--Turning your back to me doesn't shield what you're doing as your arm is still moving and because the only sound I hear is your breathing, I can only assume you're not, say, shellacking the wall or, say, caulking it.

In the above very unfortunate incident, I was simply too shocked to report what happened or tell you to stop. Please be aware that, the next time, I will not be so inclined, now that I'm prepared to see another self-lover the next time I need to relieve myself.

Respectfully yours,
Stephanie.