So...why does my car only make that noise when I am alone in it, and not when I bring it in to the mechanic, thus causing him to think I'm completely off my rocker and/or making a desperate plea for attention because I'm in love with him (one of these may be true, but that's besides the point)? Do cars have a sense of humor and if so is this my car's idea of a sick joke? I am so not amused, car.
So now, I’m stuck with this "I'm driving and the back of the car is on fire, I know it!" fear. I'm convinced that the back of my car is going to be on fire one day and I'll be driving along oblivious to it. Just to be sure I've taken to wearing a flame retardant suit while driving now in hopes to combat this (it's actually quite comfortable). And God forbid someone beeps at me for any reason, like say because I hit them, ran a red light, ran their dog/cat/wife over, whatever, I instantly assume they are trying to alert me to the fire at the rear of my car, pull over, grab that fire extinguisher I keep under my seat for just that reason and jump out of the car ready to go all Backdraft on it.
Also, I cried my way out of a speeding ticket today. Whoever said women were the weaker sex was an assclown.
I’m just sayin’...
No comments:
Post a Comment