I know, I know, you were hoping I wouldn't update for like another 10 years so as to give you time to absorb the full flavor of my last post and maybe, I don't know, seek some therapy to help you deal with what you read, but sorry! I had to do it.
I am truly, madly, deeply AN IDIOT and it's a miracle I've survived this long.
I define being an idiot as not being able to:
a.)Open car doors on my own
b.)Figure out how to take the toilet paper thingy off the toilet paper holder thingy so as to put on a new roll of toilet paper with out asking for help
c.)Wear socks that don't leave behind a trail of glitterish tinsel that is harmful to small children and pets
d.)Not hit people with my bag everywhere I go
e.)Figure out how to ride the bus (seriously, there should be some sort of course on riding the bus, in which they teach you How Not To Piss The Bus Driver Off, How Not To Trip Getting On AND Off The Bus, And of course How To Get On The Right Bus) which when coupled with d. this is downright dangerous...
f.)Make a single decision, no matter how trivial, and yes, I am one of Those Girls, who say "I don't know, you decide" or "I don't care, you pick" when asked a question.
and g)I was watching "Buffy" early the other evening. Yeah, I just admitted that. One of my dear, dear friends is always telling me I need to "accept" my dorkiness. So this is me accepting it. Sometimes, when I'm tired and want to take a nap on the sofa I put "Buffy" on (she says while blushing uncontrollably).
Ugh. You have my permission to put me out of my misery. I am afraid, very afraid, that I am merely a step away from "I don't eat buffalo wings because I don't like buffalo" and "Chicken of the sea, so is it chicken or tuna?"-territory, and assassination is the only solution. Now, if you'll excuse me I have to go follow the trail of glittery tinsel to the forest where I'm sure Yogi Bear and Boo Boo are just waiting to push me in an oven and turn me into pie.
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2 comments:
So most of that doesn't sound like an idiot; it sounds like a drunkard. =) the bus thing, I totally get. I would be seriously screwed. I rode it a couple times with a friend and he had to help me EVERY step of the way.
Buffy? Well there is just no excuse for that. I cannot say much though because I am hooked on Charmed reruns.
Ah yes, idiocy and drunkness. Something about alcohol permanently killing braincells.
I don't remember quite how it works, I think I need another beer.
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