Note to Luxembourg: Size does matter.

Right. So. Hi. Anyone still out there? No? Great, then I can skip the part about my delayed existential crisis involving the Olsen Twins, Lysol disinfectant, satellites falling from the sky, Grasshoppers, Mika's "Love Today" played 57 times straight and why you shouldn't ever trust a man in a white turtleneck or eat handfuls of raw meat from the backseat of a station wagon and get right to the part where I'm going to offer you many wise and important pieces of advice during this post. Because voices are telling me to (damn annoying Fran Dresher-like voice that makes me want to hurt myself repeatedly.).

And of that advice please note that war MUST be declared on Luxembourg, it is the only alternative to putting up with their shenanigans and if World War 2 has taught us anything it's when in doubt as to the intentions of a German speaking country, it's best to be vigilant. Besides, they are a landlocked nation, and everyone knows landlocked nations are for losers.

Now then, does anyone want to join my newly formed Country, Amnesia (Well it's actually more of a cross between a country and an empire with a democratic monarchy and a motto of "Where Skull Bashing Is Law Of The Land", but you get the picture.) ,and help? They’ve never been much of a fighting force, should be easy…

Ok, ok, I know you're all "no, really, what have you been up to in all these many, many days you have neglected to post and thus forced us to watch barnyard animal porn and read Bart De Wever’s blog (and never the two shall meet)?" but that will have to wait until tomorrow. The other inpatients want to use the computer to write a letter to Catherine Zeta-Jones and I still have to finish my paper maché Donald Trump Head before Lights Out.