Have I got exciting news for you! Very exciting news indeed! I've given up my dream of my life being made into a Very Special VH1 Behind The Music episode. Since everyone hates me. Or, since no one wants to form a band with me. Same thing. I did take clarinet lessons in 6th grade, you know. Anyway. It's ok, really. I mean, no one even invited me to audition for them, and I may have cried a little in my nachos, but my therapist says I don't need a band to validate me, I just need to have sex with him on the couch in his office for $200 an hour. So yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
This post in my head was longer, but I got distracted thinking how funny it would have been if for an April Fool's joke today I had told my brother that my mother told me HE was really my biological father and that the secrets and lies MUST stop.
LOOK, IT'S THE POST THAT WOULDN'T END! KILL ME! NOW!
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