These questions and more, after these messages.
So I still have, like, half an hour to kill, and my eyes hurt when I try to read, so that means a loooot of babbling. Just stop reading now and spare yourself the pain.
Today's thoughts:
-Apparently it's crucial that you not forget to add water when steaming vegetables. Apparently not doing so will cause your pan and stove to burst into flames. Apparently using your oven mitt to pat out the flames will only succeed in catching your oven mitt on fire, too. Right. So yeah, all cooking privileges have been rescinded, with the exception of my Easy Bake Oven, and that I can only use under the supervision of the Pillsbury Dough Boy himself. The sending of any baked goods, steamed vegetables, and/or food of any kind would therefore be greatly appreciated.
-I have this irrational fear of being clunked over the head and shipped to a country whose alphabet I don't know, so I'm trying to learn all these alphabets... I must be paranoid, I don't know.
- Currently stuck in my head: Brian Adams - run to you. oooooh when it gets too much, I need to feel your touch, I'm gonna run to you!
-Also, being called a home wrecker is no fun. Don't get me wrong, being called a home wrecker is fun if you actually are a home wrecker who seduced your married Ethics Professor just to pass the time. But that isn't the case. This time, anyway. This time it is all due to my Latent Alcoholism Gone Wrong. Which is a sickness and thus not/never to be made fun of. So there.
While we're on the subject of fun, I once saw this guy sitting alone in his car outside the pharmacy with all the windows rolled up, blasting Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" and for some reason all I could think of was: That's a cry for help if I ever heard one, maybe I should duct tape his exhaust pipe and do him a favor. And now that guy is my LOVER and he calls me Sylvia and we only make the sweet monkey love while sitting in his car outside the pharmacy with all the windows rolled up, blasting Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight."
Or not really. I can't rule anything out these days. I haven't slept since April because of that damn thesis that's slowly draining me of my will to live and the line between what's real and what's not real has blurred. Wait, line, what line? Last night I ran over Brainy Smurf while driving home. I slammed on my brakes, but I'm afraid all the shock therapy has slowed my reflexes, and poor Brainy's smurf soul was already on its way to smurf heaven. Instinctively I fled the scene. You won't tell, will you? I can live with the guilt, I've killed before. And I'll kill again if you cross me! Oh. Hi. Let me be an example of what not to do. Don't forget to go to sleep at night. And don't forget to look both ways before crossing the street or you will give birth to a possessed plastic doll. I think that's like, one of the Golden Rules, isn't it?
